[WoodyBay] No Senior Discounts

[Woody Downing]

THERE IS NO SENIOR DISCOUNT FOR
READING THIS!!!
LYING AROUND, PONDERING THE PROBLEMS 
OF THE WORLD, I REALIZED THAT AT MY AGE 
I DON'T REALLY GIVE A RAT'S ASS ANYMORE. 
IF WALKING IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH, 
THE POSTMAN WOULD BE IMMORTAL. 
A WHALE SWIMS ALL DAY, ONLY EATS FISH, 
AND DRINKS WATER, BUT IS STILL FAT. 
A RABBIT RUNS AND HOPS AND ONLY LIVES 
15 YEARS, WHILE A TORTOISE DOESN'T RUN 
AND DOES MOSTLY NOTHING, YET IT LIVES 
FOR 150 YEARS. AND THEY TELL US TO 
EXERCISE? ---------- I DON'T THINK SO. 
NOW THAT I'M OLDER, HERE'S WHAT I'VE DISCOVERED: 
1. I STARTED OUT WITH  NOTHING, AND I 
STILL HAVE MOST OF IT. 
2. MY WILD OATS ARE MOSTLY ENJOYED 
WITH PRUNES AND ALL-BRAN. 
3. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING 
ABSENT-MINDED. 
4. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING 
ABSENT-MINDED. 
5. IF ALL IS NOT LOST, THEN WHERE THE 
HELL IS IT? 
6. IT WAS A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO GET 
OLDER THAN IT WAS TO GET WISER. 
7. SOME DAYS, YOU'RE THE TOP DOG, 
SOME DAYS YOU'RE THE HYDRANT. 
8. I WISH THE BUCK REALLY DID STOP 
HERE, I SURE COULD USE A FEW OF THEM. 
9. KIDS IN THE BACKSEAT CAUSE ACCIDENTS. 
10. ACCIDENTS IN THE BACK SEAT CAUSE KIDS. 
11. IT IS HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN 
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANYWHERE. 
12. THE WORLD ONLY BEATS A PATH TO YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU'RE IN THE BATHROOM. 
13. IF GOD WANTED ME TO TOUCH MY TOES, 
HE'D HAVE PUT THEM ON MY KNEES. 
14. WHEN I'M FINALLY HOLDING ALL THE 
CARDS, EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY CHESS. 
15. IT IS NOT HARD TO MEET EXPENSES... 
THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. 
16. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RUT 
AND A GRAVE IS THE DEPTH. 
17. THESE DAYS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME 
THINKING ABOUT THE HEREAFTER. . . 
17A. I GO SOMEWHERE TO GET SOMETHING, 
AND THEN WONDER WHAT I'M "HERE AFTER". 
18. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED. 
19. IT IS A LOT BETTER TO BE SEEN THAN 
VIEWED. 
20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???...OR DID I GET IT FROM YOU?
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